When we talk about the Mirror Effect, we usually talk about the hard stuff. We talk about triggers, fights, bad habits, and what you admire in your partner.
But the mirror does not only show us our bad sides! The mirror also shows us our brightest, most beautiful magic.
Have you ever stopped to think about what you admire most in your partner? Maybe they are incredibly brave. Maybe they are always calm in a storm. Maybe they are very kind to strangers.
If you look closely, the qualities you love about them are the qualities you’re being called to develop in yourself.
In this easy-to-read guide, we are going to explore this amazing secret. We will show you how to find your own hidden superpowers simply by looking at the person you love.
1. The Mirror Shows Your Future Self
When you fall in love, you are drawn to a certain type of energy.
Often, we pick people who have the exact strengths that we feel we are missing. If you are a very nervous person, you might fall in love with someone who is very relaxed. If you are very shy, you might fall in love with someone who is the life of the party.
But why does this happen?
It happens because what you admire in your partner is showing you who you’re becoming. Your brain is very smart. It sees what you need to grow, and it pulls you toward a partner who can show you the way.
They are holding up a mirror to your own future self!
2. The Sasha Story: Finding My Own Confidence
Let me share a very real story with you.
When I first met my wife, I fell in love with Sasha because she seemed comfortable in her own skin. She was completely secure. She was totally self-assured and bold.
I loved that about her. But inside, I was the opposite. I needed external validation. I was always seeking approval from other people to feel good about myself.
At first, I just thought, “Wow, she is so cool. I wish I was like that.”
But here’s what I learned: That admiration was showing me my own potential. I did not need to steal her confidence. I needed to learn how to grow my own self-esteem.
I didn’t need to BE her. I needed to BECOME like her. Most importantly, I needed to express the hidden confidence that was already in me. I needed to develop that same security in myself. As a result, you recognize what you admire in your partner.
3. Stop Expecting Them to Do the Heavy Lifting
When we love someone’s strength, we sometimes get a little bit lazy.
If your partner is great at making decisions, you might stop making decisions. You just let them do it all. You think, “They are so good at being brave, so I don’t have to be brave.”
This is a trap!
Your partner is not there to do the work for you. They are there to be your teacher. If you just let them be the “strong one” forever, you will never grow.
You have to take the lessons they are teaching you and practice them in your own life.
4. How to Use the Positive Mirror
So, how do we actually use this magic mirror? How do we become the amazing things we see in the people we love?
If you want to grow, you just have to follow these simple steps to know what you admire in your partner:
- Step 1: Notice what you admire. (Write it down on a piece of paper! Does their kindness inspire you? Does their focus amaze you?)
- Step 2: Ask: “Do I have this quality?” (Be honest with yourself. Are you kind? Are you focused?)
- Step 3: If not, start developing it. (Take one tiny step today to act more like the thing you admire.)
- Step 4: Watch yourself become more whole. (Celebrate your growth as you become a stronger, happier person!)
5. You Already Have the Magic
Here is the best secret of all.
You cannot recognize a beautiful trait in someone else unless that same trait is already sleeping inside of you.
If you see deep kindness in your partner, it means you have deep kindness in your heart, too. If you see wild bravery in them, it means the seed of bravery is already planted in your own soul. It just needs a little bit of water to grow.
Your partner is just the sun helping your seed to sprout.
If you are ready to uncover all of your hidden superpowers and build the relationship of your dreams, you need a map.
I wrote The Mirror Effect: You’re the Common Denominator to be that exact map. This book will show you exactly how to stop fighting, start growing, and use your love as a tool to become the best version of yourself.
Grab your copy today, and start stepping into your amazing potential!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What does it mean if I admire something in my partner?
When you deeply admire a trait in your partner, it is usually the Mirror Effect showing you your own hidden potential. It means that trait is something you are ready to learn, practice, and grow inside of your own life.
Do opposites attract in relationships?
Yes! People often attract partners who have opposite strengths. If you are anxious, you might attract someone calm. This happens so you can learn from their strengths and become a more balanced, whole person.
How do I become more like the things I love about my partner?
Start small! Notice the specific trait you love, ask yourself if you are practicing that trait in your own life, and then take one tiny action every day to develop it. Use them as a positive role model instead of expecting them to do all the heavy emotional lifting.